Pronounce “anon” the same way as “Aaron,” like “An-in.” Also if you could, talk in a slightly nasally tone please, not required though Hey anon. We need to talk. Oh really? You can’t think of anything I might want to talk to you about? I... I know we’ve never really talked before, but this is pretty serious. This fell out of your backpack yesterday. “Things I want to do to Hera, by Anon.” Does that ring a bell? What the fuck. Is this seriously what you think of me? I’ve caught you staring at me a few times in class, is this what you’re thinking about every time you do that? And you write everything down like some sort of... You know what, i’m just gonna read some of these things out. One: Hug her. Two: kiss her. Three: run my hands through her hair. Four: pat her head... Okay anon, I know you have a crush on me, you don’t need to explain that. But it’s one thing to have a crush and another thing to write all this stuff down like some sort of creep or... ugh, nevermind. Five: kiss her on the cheek. Six: make out with her- you already wrote down you wanted to kiss me why did you- doesn’t matter. Seven: touch her on the nose. Eight: lick her jawline- that’s fucking weird Nine: touch her boobs. Ten: Squeeze her tits in both of my hands. Eleven: rub her butt. Twelve: squeeze her ass with both of my hands. Thirteen: slap her ass. Like when you were writing this did you not once think about what you were doing? Did you not once think about how I would feel if I saw this? Wait, what? How... how DO I feel? Well, I’ll fucking tell you after I read this other shit you wrote. Fourteen: take her shirt off. Fifteen: take her pants off. sixteen: take her bra off. Seventeen: take her panties off... Eighteen: suck on her boobs. Nineteen: suckle on her nipples - you know that’s the same thing right? ugh, Twenty: kiss her bare ass. Twenty one: eat her puss... oh my god... eat out her pussy until she orgasms. *gulp* Uh, twenty two: put my hard cock between her tits and rub them together. Twenty three: put my cock between her asscheeks and rub them together. Twenty four: have sex with her in the girl-on-top position You know you’re really lucky I was the one who picked this up. You’re lucky it wasn’t a teacher or the principal or one of the fucking cops who picked this up. How do you think they would’ve reacted to this? You could’ve gotten suspended or expelled or gone to fucking jail for this shit. And you haven’t thanked me once for not going straight to one of them with this. So let me hear it. Say th-thank you Hera, right now, or i’m turning this shit in to the principal. There. And I didn’t even get into the real shit on this... Twenty five: bend her over my knees and spank her over her pants. Twenty- *gulp* twenty six: pull her pants down, bend over my knees and spank her over her panties. Twenty seven: pull her pants and panties down to her ankles, bend over my knees and spank her bare bottom. Twenty eight: make her strip down completely nude in front of me and spank her naked. Twenty nine: have sex with immediately after giving her a hard spanking, while her ass is still red. Thirty: make her give me a blowjob immediately after giving her a hard spanking. Thirty one: make her put her elbows on a table and bend over, pull her pants and underwear down to her ankles, paddle her bare ass until it turns red and then fuck her from behind- Oh my god Anon, if this is seriously what you think about me, or hell what you think about any girl, then I can see why you’ve never had a girlfriend. I’m just assuming you never have, but i’m probably right aren’t I? Oh, you actually have had one? Well why’d she leave you, huh? Was it because you thought of her as your own personal sex toy, like you apparently think about me? She... she died? Oh, oh my god, i’m sorry, I didn’t know- but, i-it still doesn’t give you an excuse to write this. Y-yeah i’m gonna read the rest, just let me... uh... Thirty two: make her smile. Thirty three: shower with her. Thirty four: go to homecoming and prom with her. Thirty five: make her laugh. Thirty six: watch the A.V.G.N. Episode of Polybius with her- whatever the fuck that even means. Thirty seven: cuddle her and fall asleep in each others arms. Thirty eight: become the love of her life. Thirty nine: propose to her, and get married on our shared birthday. Our shared birthday? Wait, when’s yours? Oh, I guess we do have the same birthday. Ain’t that a coincidence. Wait, how’d you know when my birthday is? Oh, you mean that one day in class when everyone sang happy birthday to me, it was yours too the whole time? Why didn’t you say anything- oh wait, that sucked. Huh, that was actually smart. Anyways, forty: make her happy. The end. You know Anon, you didn’t have to write this weird shit. You’re good looking, you’re smart, and you seemed like a nice guy, before I read this of course. You could’ve just talked to me at any time you wanted. Hell, if you even asked me out I probably would’ve said yes... Wha-what did I think of it? Are you serious? I think you’re fucking creepy. I mean, I guess some of it is a little sweet, and I might be kind of into some of that stuff... but I don’t know why you felt you had to make this instead of just talking to me. Am I intimating to you or something? Huh? Chad? You thought I was dating him? Dude, he’s my cousin. Yeah he’s black, do you not know what a cousin is? I’ve been single for all of high school. And I’ve kind of wanted a boyfriend the whole time too... Are you seriously asking me out right now? Hell fucking no I won’t go out with you! After reading that shit? Yeah I might’ve said yes before but, but... it’s different now. Of course I have fantasies, everyone does. Hell, spanking is one of mine too. But I don’t write them down and carry them with me at school like a weirdo. Wh-what about my phone? Okay anon, if it really means that much to you, I’ll go on one date with you. When I read this list yesterday I thought you were gonna react a lot differently when I confronted you about it, but you still seem pretty cool. Tomorrow after school, we can hang out. But don’t expect to do any of this shit. Except, uh, maybe we can do the first one, right now. Okay, uh, good talk. Bye anon, I’ll see you tomorrow.